It is Sunday lets relax with jokes.... i give you this package to release your stress...

1. You are reading this.
2. You are human.
3. You can't say the letter"P"without separating your lips...
4. You just attempted to do it...
6. You are laughing at yourself. See ur teeth :D
7. You have a smile on your face, and u skipped No.5
8. You just checked to see if there is a No.5:)
9. You are still smiling:D 
10. You'll steal this now to see who else would fall for it

A old woman went to visit her married daughter but when she popped in her room, she accidentally got her naked. She said ''0oops! Why are you naked?'' The daughter replied ''This is the dress of love.'' In the following evening, the old woman went back to her house and stayed naked in her bedroom. Her old husband came in and got her naked then asked her '0oops! why are you naked?' The smilling, old woman replied 'This is the dress of love!' The old husband exhaled and told her in a low tone. 'Alright.... Just make sure you iron it tonight coz it is so wrinkled! 

By:Anto N.

An old farmer and his friend were just relaxing on a bench near the farm. Suddenly, the friend noticed that there was one pig on the farm that had one of its leg missing and therefore, it had a wooden structure ressembling its foot which it used for support. Out of curiosity, the man asked the farmer while pointing at it ''Hey, what happened to that pig's foot?'' Then the farmer replied ''One day as I went to the yard to feed my cows, a certain dog came to attack me surprisingly but this pig came on very fast and scared away the dog.'' Then the friend asked 'Is that the reason why it has no one of its foot?' The old farmer replied ''No.... there is also this day that I was sleeping at night and I heared it moarning as if it was in pain. I rushed outside only to find out that my house was on fire! it really saved my life in that night...'' Again the friend said 'I guess that's the cause of the missing foot, right?' Then the old farmer told him ''Not at all! there was also this moment when I was milking my cow, as I was taking the milk in the house, I slid and fell into the swimming pool! Fortunately enough, this same pig came into the water and pushed me out!'' Then the friend concluded ''So I guess that its one leg got injured when it came to save you from the pond huh?'' Then the old farmer replied 'Not at all!' Again the friend asked ''Then what could be the reason why its missing one of its foot?'' The old farmer took a deep breathe, paused for a few seconds and then replied:- ''Well... I hope you now know that its a good pig and therefore it is not supposed to be eaten just at once! huh?'' 

A chinese man was having s3x with a kenyan lady. Immediately after every shot, the chinese man was jumping up from the bed, rushed to the window, had a heavy, deep breathe with his tongue sticked out of his mouth, then he went under the bed and came out on the other side and continued with the s3x. He did the same thing 10 times and the kenyan lady was very impressed by the great energy and stamina from this chinese man. After the 10th shot, she then decided that it was her turn to jump up from the bed, go to the window and breath heavily with her tongue sticked out of her mouth and also went under the bed just like the chinese man only to find out that:- There were 9 more identical chinese men hidden there! 

Here Are Some Tips That May
Bring You A Beautiful Life!
- Take a 10-30 minute walk
every
day and while you walk, smile.
- Sit in silence for at least 10
minutes each day.
- When you wake up in the
morning complete the following
statement, “My purpose is to …
today.”
- Live with the 3 E’s… Energy,
Enthusiasm, Empathy, and the 3
F’s … Faith, Family, Friends.
- Spend more time with people
over the age of 70 and under the
age of 6.
- Dream more while you are
awake.
- Try to make at least three
people smile each day.
- Realize that life is a school and
you are here to learn, pass all
your tests. Problems are simply
part of the curriculum that
appear and fade away like
algebra class but the lessons
you
learn will last a lifetime.
- Smile and laugh more. It will
keep the energy vampires away.
- Life isn’t fair, but it’s still
good.
- Life is too short to waste time
hating anyone.
- Don’t take yourself so
seriously.
No one else does.
- You don’t have to win every
argument. Agree to
disagreements.
- Make peace with your past, so it
won’t mess up the present.
- Don’t compare your life with
others’. You have no idea what
their journey is all about.
- Burn the candles, use the nice
sheets. Don’t save it for a
special
occasion. Today is special.
- No one is in charge of your
happiness except you.
- Forgive everyone for
everything.
- What other people think of you
is none of your business.
- Time heals almost everything.
Give time, time.
- However good or bad a
situation is, it will change.
- Your job won’t take care of
you
when you are sick. Your friends
will stay in touch.
- Get rid of anything that isn’t
useful, beautiful, or joyful.
- The best is yet to come…
Believe.
- No matter how you feel, get
up,
dress up, and show up.
- Do the right thing!
- Call your family often.
- Each night before you go to
bed
complete the following
statements: “I am thankful
for…”
- “Today I accomplished…"
- Remember that you are too
blessed to be stressed.
- Enjoy the ride. Remember that
this is not Disney World and you
certainly don’t want a fast
pass.
Make the most of it and enjoy the
ride.

HAFIDH KIDO

0713 593894/ 0752 593894

DAR ES SALAAM, TANZANIA

hafidhkido@yahoo.com

NB: All jokes are not mine, just copied them from different site for your sake. Have a blessed Sunday pals...